iDon't Wanna Say Goodbye
by SemperSursum
Summary: "Well, I never wanted to grow up anyway. But I did and acting childish is the next best thing, Freddo."  Peter Pan-ish Seddie.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own iCarly.

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**iDon't Wanna Say Goodbye**

_"Never say goodbye because goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting."  
— __J.M. Barrie__ (__Peter Pan__)_

He sighed as he closed the small book the blonde beside him made him read aloud. The girl lifted her feet off the ledge and placed them on his lap, dirtying his perfectly ironed jeans. She wiggled them to aggravate him and smirked when his hands took hold of her feet to stop them from shaking off more dirt. He scrunched up his nose and looked at her lovely pale face. Oh, how she loved the way he looks at her. But, of course, she'll never say that aloud.

"You do know you act like a kid sometimes, right?" His eyes wandered to the cover of the book he was holding. Her eyes lit up with amusement as soon as he said that.

"Well, I never wanted to grow up anyway. But I did and acting childish is the next best thing, Freddo." His thumb started to trace patterns on her exposed skin. She giggled with delight when his fingers started to climb up to her knees. Oh, how he loves it whenever she wears his old pair of shorts. But, of course, he couldn't say that aloud.

"Mmmm-hmmm." He absentmindedly draws invisible circles on where his hand had previously stopped. The fast-moving cars and people clad in vibrant colors have caught his eyes. He felt her hands fall on top of his. She intertwined their fingers to bring his attention back to her. He smiled at her sudden affectionate gesture.

"Carly always said I remind her of Peter Pan." She tells him in an attempt to make him talk again. She wants to remember his voice clearly. She wants to remember every part of him. She wants to soak in his _nubness _just this once.

"You just might be Peter Pan's female counterpart. You're both stubborn but very lovable." She laughs at the last sentence. She knows it's true. She was indeed very similar to the fictional character. He never wanted to love because loving means growing up and growing up means getting hurt. Yes, that does sound like Samantha Puckett.

"Nub." She teases him but by now he has come to accept it as a pet name she has given him. "And we both don't ever want to leave _Neverland_." Her tone turned into a sad one. He knew what she meant. College was only a month away and long distance relationships (if what they have can be considered a relationship, that is) are bound to fail. She swung her legs off his lap and scooted closer to him. Without any warning, she leans on him so forcefully that he gave off a soft 'oof'.

"See, change hates me." She whined just like a ten year old that it made him chuckle which only caused her to punch his leg. "It's not something to laugh about, dork!"

"Sorry, Sam. It's just that this brings back memories." He stops laughing and cups her chin so that he could see her face clearly. Surely, there was pain and longing written all over her but her strong demeanor makes people think she doesn't care about college at all. Truth is, she absolutely does. "But remember what I told you two years ago, right this very fire escape?"

"Uh-huh. Accept change, it might turn out to be great… yadda, yadda, yadda." She rolls her eyes and he smiles at her. "But I can't see anything great or good about this change at all! Carly's going to New York, you're going to MIT. I'm stuck here and I can't do anything about it." She pouts and he finds it so irresistible that he kisses her softly on the lips, just enough to make a blush creep on her face. They break away but he doesn't take his eyes off of her.

"I said something else after that, Sam." She bits her lower lip, a sign that she's trying to remember it. And when she finally does, a frown surfaced on her angelic face.

"You said you'll always be there for me. But you're going to be miles and miles away, Freddie!" He flinches as he recognizes her despair but he beams when he realizes she'll miss him once he's gone.

"I know, Sam. I might be far from you but you'll always be right here." He places her hand on his where his heart hypothetically was.

"But that's not good enough. Promise me you'd come back whenever I really need you, okay?" She raised her right pinky. He had to put down the worn-out book on the stairs so that he could raise his left pinky.

"Pinky promise." It was her turn to beam at him. He tucked away a stray lock of hair in place and closed his eyes. A quick peck from her made his brown eyes fly open.

"Oh, yeah, I remembered I brought fatcakes with me. Want some? Wait, do I even need to ask?" Sam glared at him through her lashes but that just made him laugh. He reached for his sling bag and took out three fatcakes.

"Two for you, Princess Puckett." He said as he tossed the fatcakes to her.

"Aww. You know me too well, Freddifer." She cooed and doubled up in laughter which he later joined in. The cold Seattle breeze made her shiver so he enveloped her in his arms, forgetting the fatcake on his other side. She continued to gobble up her fatcakes while listening to Freddie's shallow breathes. It was making her forget of what was to come.

She couldn't help but wonder if _playing pretend_ made Peter Pan forget about not having anyone to take care of him. Peter might come off as selfish but no one can blame him, can't they? He was one of those unfortunate kids who weren't wanted even at their own homes. He loves Neverland. It was where he felt he belonged. He was just being selfish because he has been deprived of a mother's love.

He started to get up. "No, don't go just yet." Sam pleaded and he obliged. He placed his arm over her shoulder and pulled her closer. No one can blame her. Seattle was her Neverland. This was where she has found the nub she has come to love. And she only belongs in Freddie Benson's arms. She has deprived herself long enough.

They stayed like that for a few more minutes until Freddie pulled out something from his pocket. It was a necklace with a very shiny star pendant. She stared at it for a while and when she made no move to take it from him, he put it around her neck instead.

"There. It's your own Neverland. As long as it's with you, I'm there. _I love you._" Those last three words were forbidden but she wanted to hear that from him ever since she woke up that morning. Tears started to prick her eyes and he pulled her up to stand. "Let's go back inside. We've been gone long enough." She tried to smile but it came off a little weak. He handed her the children's book she loved so much but, "You keep it, Benson."

"You sure? Wouldn't you miss good ol' Peter, Sam?" He started to tease but this earned him another punch from her.

"Stop kidding around, let's go. And one more thing, no goodbyes, okay?" She said once she remembered one of her favorite lines from the book. It was a peculiar request but he just nodded his head and motioned for the hallway. They climbed out the window and went back to the Shay's apartment.

It was already late in the evening when he remembered he never got to finish reading the book Sam gave him earlier that night. He had to admit, it was very interesting even from a grown up's point of view.

And there on the last page, in Sam's scrawly handwriting, were the words:

**_"To love would be an awfully big adventure. Sure is. I love you too, nub."_**

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_**A/N:** Gah. I've always wanted to write a Peter Pan inspired fanfic. This is kind of the sequel to iM Scared but it can be also a stand alone. It surprises me how differently I write Seddie and Nacy. It's all good though. Reviews please? :)

BTW, anyone got quotes? They inspire me and I'm planning to make this a trilogy and post it in time for Valentine's Day _*coughsingleawarenessdaycough*_ so I really need a fitting quote._  
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